Yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year. Spent the day working. Thought that being a public holiday, there will not be much things to do. I was so wrong. The moment I opened the email, there was some 15 emails for me to clear!!! By the time I finish clearing it, it was after 10am already. Started to do EA then...
Jess asked me to go for lunch with her. Was thinking of just eating at the canteen. However, when all her staff came back from lunch, they complained of stomachache. We decided to go and eat McDonalds then... Tried their Chicken Prosperity meal which came with curly fries. Never regret having that...
By the time I completed work, it was 4.30pm. Headed to Dhpby Gaught MRT station to wait for him. Was pissed off again!!! Made me wait till 6pm!!! Asked him, "Do you know how irritating it is to wait for someone for 2 to 3 hours everytime you go out with the same person???" He knew I was angry already. When we met, he did not dare talk to him until I started the ball rolling.
Walked to Mustafa Centre, the only shopping centre that is opened yesterday I believe. He has to buy a white shirt for work. While walking there, the pathway was filled with people. We just cannot stand walking that slowly. So we sped through all of them. The feeling was like we were silently competing with each other, see who can get to the end first. Childish but the unspoken feeling between me and him is just that good.
I thought I was the only fussy shopper around. He was worse than me. We combed through the whole male section, browsed through all the white shirts they have... But, he still could not decide on one. In the end, as he was running late, he just grabbed any white shirt which was the most pleasing to his eye.
Took a taxi from there to Amara after that. After so long, I managed to smile so heartedly again. However, it was very short-lived. Passed him the letter I wrote to him before we parted.
Was feeling hungry then. Headed to McDonalds AGAIN at Bugis for dinner. Ate the same meal as I had for lunch as well...
He called me when I was on the way back. Said he read the letter already. "I cannot leave my family... Really cannot... I already sign the ROM letter you know that???" This means you are offically married already??? Why the hell are you bothering me still??? Was very very angry then...
Did tear abit... Just abit... Was too angry to feel sad then... Messaged him, told him if he meant to hurt me further, do not call me or ask me out again... Called me a few times. Did not pick up the call at all. Only did it when he called the 5th time. Told him I really do not want to have anything to do with him already and he hang up the phone.
Thought through things the whole night. He is too precious to me. I cannot bear to lose him. But if we continue to keep in contact, I will feel even more hurt, more upset and more angry... In a BIG dilemma now.
Messaged him this morning. Said I will continue to be in contact with him. Since talking or not talking to him, I will still feel the same. At least when I talk to him, I am still able to feel appy for awhile... He asked, "You will do it as a friend?" My answer was, "I do not know..." Asked me if I want to attend his wedding. NO would be my answer... But then again, would it be better if I went?
Went around visiting today... In every house I went, there is bound to be someone asking me when will I be getting married. DARN!!! Can everyone just shoo away and leave me alone!!!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
12:27 PM